Wednesday, February 17, 2010

France ruins Star Wars forever...

It started innocently enough. I had heard a girl tell me that Darth Vader was the sexiest man in Star Wars. Not Han Solo...not even Chewie, but Darth "Mouth Breather" Vader! This got me thinking... what's the appeal? He's definitely a tall guy, and he's got that power thing going for him. Plus there's the whole "I am you father" bit for girls with daddy issues. Maybe it was his silken, Barry White voice, intimidating for Rebel Scum but just smooth enough to be seductive when played with some cool jazz..

A google search of "Darth Vader is a sexy man" brought up many links I was too afraid to click on, and then a clip of a youtube video about Star Wars and France. I myself enjoy Star Wars and I just got done defending France, so I thought I'd take a look.

Warning: This video will give you nightmares. The images you are about to see will never leave your mind. They will haunt your subconscious. It is the equivalent of taking a beloved childhood memory and violating it in horrible ways behind an old toolshed. France, I don't know what George Lucas ever did to you to make you want to create a Star ballet... Were you trying to make something worse than the Star Wars Holiday Special? Because if so...I think you succeeded.

This is what Palpatine meant when he said the Dark Side is a path to abilities many consider to be unnatural. You have been warned.


  1. That was so terrible I couldn't even finish watching the video.

  2. I tried to warn you. Unless you like Sith on droid space disco funk, this is going to haunt you forever.