Sunday, February 14, 2010
Might as well face it, you're addicted to love!
Happy Valentine's Day, one and all. Christian martyrdom really gets people in the mood for romance, apparently. Also..chocolate. Many of you are probably enjoying a big red, heart-shaped box of Russian Roulette style chocolates right now. You know what I'm talking about....it might be delicious or you might grab one that's filled with toothpaste, but you're willing to take the chance.
Do you feel lucky, punk?
Chocolate is a very apt symbol for romance, and not just because of its purported aphrodisiac properties.
It's a food that we enjoy..its a comfort food, it's easy, it makes us feel safe, and its pleasant. It's also mildly addictive. We know we should snack on something healthier, but how often do we reach for an apple when there's chocolate in the room? We love the way chocolate makes us feel, even though its ultimately bad for us.
People often treat relationships the same way. They get addicted to them, especially the ones that are bad for us. How many girls do you know who still pine for the cute guy who treated her like garbage? How many guys do you see who keep going back to the ex who broke his heart? They're familiar. They're attractive. We like the way we feel about ourselves when we're with them. Lust comes into play...but like an addiction to chocolate, these relationships are ultimately unhealthy and could even be dangerous.
This Valentine's Day, eat an apple.
Girls: There's someone special in your life who lacks the dangerous bad-boy glitz of the cute a-hole, but makes up for it by being a guy who would never hurt you, who's sensitive, funny, honest, or possesses any of those other qualities you wrote on your 'my future husband' list as a sunday schoolgirl. Chances are he's been there for you the whole time and you never gave him a second glance with all the chocolate temptations in cupboard.
Guys: Same story. Leave the psychotic yet dangerously sexy ex in your past where she belongs. Maybe there's a girl-next-door in your life that could potentially be something more?
And everyone, there's nothing wrong with being single for a little while. We all have that friend who is so addicted to having a 'special someone' in his or her life that they can't bear to be alone. They're prone to awkward rebound relationships or crawling back to ex's just to avoid that feeling of not having someone to play the 'No, you hang up first' game with on the phone. Don't be that person. Developing yourself as an individual, being able to define yourself as a person instead of as part of a couple, is not only a healthy trait but also an attractive one. You may start to attract a higher class of ladies (or gents) when you've become a person instead of someone's 'better half'.
When you are ready to enter the exciting and sometimes awkward world of dating again, don't forget what Montaigne said: "If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love." Marrying your best friend is a cliche for a reason. It's pretty much the best way to start a life together. Think for a moment about who you go to when you're scared, who cheers you up when you're sad, who makes you laugh, and who you feel safest with. That's your apple. Go ahead and have a bite. You might find you don't need junk food anymore.